Sugar Root
Posted: 20 September 2008 12:30 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Reported by Bill Blaisdell.

It was during the great winter snows, winter of 1969-1970, and the “Amis” on Hoher Bogen were a bit restless.

We had four tricks (crews/gangs) working rotating shifts to provide 24-7-365 coverage of our mission. Each trick had a name, often somewhat characteristic of the personalities of each group. I can only remember the names of the boring Morgue Trick, the infamous and wacky Animal Trick, and my group, Sugar Root Trick. Trick Chief, as I remember, was Doug Lindberg. Bob (Brother Eu) Eubanks was morale booster and chief priest of the cult of Sugar Root.

Brother Eu, accompanied by myself and another whom I can’t recall, and who may not want to identify himself, traveled to Nürnberg one day to purchase an appropriate Sugar Root icon. The Beate Uhse Sex Shoppe was known to stock just the thing that we needed. I and my fellow acolyte didn’t have the nerve to enter the inner sanctum (back room) with Brother U, so it was up to him to make the selection. And a superb selection it was — a very impressive dildo indeed! It also had a fine case and could be carried about very discreetly like some Native American tribal sacred bundle.

However, the keepers of the Sugar Root icon were guilty of sinful pride and were boastful about it and made the mistake of showing it off to some Frenchmen one night at the Ratskeller. The Frogs made off with our graven image to Sugar Root, and it was never to seen again. (Not that we would have wanted it after it had spent some time in the French barracks). It can only be hoped that they buried the big guy with all due reverence.

That same great winter, we decided to combine a way to pay homage to Sugar Root with an attempt to use Sugar Root to hurl a visual insult at anybody on the other side of the “hranice” (Czech border) who might be watching us with a powerful binoculars. So, right on the edge of the mountain, to the right of the parabolic antennas, we erected an impressive snow image of Sugar Root. (See attachment.)

One look at the photo and you will agree, we did ourselves proud. We thought our choice of location was very much a place of honor and great dignity. Our image was not meant to be crude, but positively reverent and patriotic, considering the Cold War message we were sending to the other side (Hey, Ivan! I got your Scud missile right here!)

Unfortunately for us, we were to receive visitors shortly after the monument’s erection, a team of intelligence people which supposedly would include a British woman. It was obvious that the statue of Sugar Root had to be removed.

A little time had passed and, aided by the application to the statue of a spray of water and some surface melting and freezing, it had become extremely hard. Well, as chief priest, it was Brother Eu’s terrible duty to take Sugar Root down, which he did with great reverence and sadness. (The way I remember it, he needed an ax to cut it down.) It took a couple of guys to roll it around to the back of the ops building. We had hoped that Sugar Root would rise again but it was not to be, as it was decreed by a “tread” messenger of the all-powerful DIRNSA that the graven image of Sugar Root was to be destroyed. Thus it came to pass.

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6913th Security Squadron USAF
Rimbach, West Germany
1974-1975

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Posted: 16 September 2009 06:28 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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The “Sugar Root” monument was impressive and could be seen from the valley below.  The powers that be, fearing an international incident, (or at least a mention in “Overseas Weekly”) decreed that it be destroyed.  Brother Eubanks (as I recall, a Texas A&M graduate..which would explain a lot) was fortunate they did not have him summarily executed.  If they had ever heard his version of “Charlotte the Harlot, the Cowpuncher’s Whore), it might have tipped the scales in favor of the death penalty.  Actually, his use of “The Claw” on the guitar should have have him shot.  I can still see his face (With PTSD, nightmares are common).  Seriously, I loved this guy, who else would address a two-star as “Brother General”?

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Posted: 17 September 2009 06:10 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Excellent tale.. makes me wonder why we did not think of that….!!

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Joe Greene
La Faire Vite
1979- 1982

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